I usually enjoy reading the biting sarcasm usually found on The Onion website, taking most articles with a grain of salt, but today my son’s facebook post drew attention to a classic article from back in 2003 that would be much funnier if it were not so true.
The article began:
“Alarmed by the unhealthy choices they make every day, more and more Americans are calling on the government to enact legislation that will protect them from their own behavior.â€
Hey, this isn’t satire. This is reality! What about seatbelt and motorcycle helmet laws? Why not protect me from eating that juicy hamburger?
The final paragraph tells it all, highlighting the eternal conflict between personal responsibility and guaranteed salvation:
"The fact is, personal responsibility doesn’t work," Nathansen (Lucifer) said. "Take a good look at the way others around you are living, and I’m sure you’ll agree. It’s time for the American people to demand that someone force them to do something about it."
(My parenthetical comment included.)
"Statesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure Virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure, than they have it now, they may change their Rulers and the forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty."
